OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
