So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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