i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
