We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I want a musical about memes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
