He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
