I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
