My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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