I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
