The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
