Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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