I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
