OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
North Korea, Best Korea!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
