I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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