Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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