new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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