Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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