I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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