Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
did i walk over a car last night?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
