Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
nutella sex= disaster
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
