we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
