You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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