You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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