white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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