she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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