shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
