if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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