I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
