i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
