It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i came on her dog
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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