ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
