I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
