I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
