I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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