does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just googled if crying burns calories
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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