love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
