No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
