thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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