i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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