Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
