I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
