I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
