This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
