I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
