I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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