Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
