I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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