The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the day after is always just damage control
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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