Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
