Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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