if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
