just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
