Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
