the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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