Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
