I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
