Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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