I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
