R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
