Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
