then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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