alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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