you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
