he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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