I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
