i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
