So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
false alarm, still single
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize